Daily Dreaming

I took a walk around the city, in hopes of getting some fresh air.  I can’t do that in Alexandria just yet, worrying if I’m gonna run into anyone worth avoiding, but DC is big enough to not be seen.  I still avoid the select fews spots that carry too many memories.  I say select few, but in reality, I’m somewhat limited to the places I can go that don’t remind me of something.  There are still songs I can’t listen to.  The saddest part about my shortened playlist is that I still haven’t been able to listen to Nickel Creek.  It’s a travesty for such a huge fan of the band as I am.  I’ll get that back.  Just like I’ll get all my favorite places in the city back.  It just takes time.

It’s amazing how dreams have such an impact on the unconcious.  Why do we dream certain things?  Do they all have meaning?  Are they all complete nonsense?  I’d like to think that dreams, for the most part, are formed from our best kept thoughts, secrets and fears.  I had a dream last night that has cast this sad shadow on my day so far.  Which is why I’m blogging.  I’ve found a blog to be sort of cathartic, which is probably the reason I only blog when I’m in a pensive, sad or nostalgic mood.  Most of the time, none of these blogs make any sense, none of the thoughts tie to each other…except for the underlying sadness that links each one. 

Truth is…today, I’m sad.  Today I want to go home…today I want to be with my parents, I want them to give me one of those hugs that magically makes all the sadness go away.  I want to be able to frolic with my friends and forget about what is making me sad.  I just want to not be so sad anymore.  The funny thing is, as long as I don’t have any similar dreams, tomorrow, I won’t be so sad.  A friend told me that it will come and go.  That I will feel fine, feel like I’m over it, and then out of nowhere, it’ll hit me and instantaneous sadness will be back…but then go away again.  I’m just ready for it to be over all together.